Monday, June 21, 2010

My Dream Man

He's tall and rugged. Dark skinned. Country boy, southern accent and doesn't mind mine. Knows what a Legacy 175 Crossbow is. Knows how to bait a line. Has a truck. But he reads W.E.B Du Bois, Martian Delany, David Walker, Malcolm X and the like. He doesn't mind dates in the field behind my house, but he loves the city as much as I do. He supports me. I support him. Does he exist? I doubt it. So I'm not set on finding him. But if he shows up in in worn levis and boots.....I wont close the door. :)

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Test
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Monday, June 14, 2010

Acceptance

We are only who we are. It's a powerful statement and I think everyone should think about it. End of the day I'm only me.I'm only who the Universe created me to be. Call it the Universe, God, Budda, Bhagavan, Jah, Allah, Jehovah Nissi. I don't know where I'm going, I don't feel like I'm wear I should be, but I thank God I'm not where I used to be. I'm only who I am. Change is inevitable and we have to accept it and make the best of it. I'm only who I am and I'm at peace with that. I've made peace with the fact that life is complex and beyond human understanding. I wish everyone could do so, I'm not perfect but understanding that life in complex and beyond my understanding is very comforting.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Coffee Shop Thoughts

If you ask me if I’m a Christian, I’ll hesitate. Not because I don’t believe that Jesus rose from the dead, but because of how I view God. God isn’t a being. God is an energy. Beyond that of gravity or string theory. With all of the science we have, we still can’t define this force that has created everything. Ex nihilo is the word. God created Ex nihilo, which is why I believe we don’t have scientific proof and never will. I have two beings. my human self that needs proof and my higher self that understands on a higher plane of understanding. Like I always say, life, birth and death are all interwoven. Like the fingers on our hands. Separate, but connected. Like the ocean. A cycle. How is it that the same theme occurs in every culture? I’m not arguing with atheism. Trust, if you don’t believe there’s a force greater than you, then I’ll let you believe that. The Universe has many mysteries.

I don’t view God like most do. God is science, God is love, God is nature. God is the very energy that created universe. God creates. God embodies everything. Woman, Man, Child, Beast, galaxies, stars, and everything else. I believe that God is an all loving caretaker. God creates. Laws that I believe can only be partially explained by our human minds. Her energy has laws. We will never understand her complexities. We’re too feeble. Yes I called Her a She. In nature, other than with bacteria and other single celled organisms, a womb is needed to create life. Patriarchal societies taught us that God was a single being and the that single being was a man. God is energy with masculine and feminine characteristics. Not to be confused with human characteristics. What is God? Everything, Nothing, the substance of things hoped for and not seen, our deepest fears. Explaining Her would kill us. All we can do is find comfort and peace in Her complexities. We must learn to love and exude her energy. Examples are everywhere. Give, respect, love. Always love. She is love.

I’m Christian, but I haven’t put God in the confines of the Bible. She’s much lager than anything I’d ever be able to understand.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Diving in.....Sex

sex as lost its value. It's innocence. It's sacredness. Mind, body and soul are all one in my opinion. Sex isn't just about getting off. It's a spiritual connection, not to be taken lightly. It's life and death. Sometimes two souls merge and create a new soul. Sometimes the mind transcends and have we out of body experiences or we transcend to another place. The body is still there, absorbing worldly pleasures, but the soul and the mind are on higher planes. Yet we play with sex. It's not a game. It's more than sex. I dont understand why people do get it.



I'm not advocating for sexual oppression, I'm simply asking that people use sexual discretion. That's your mind and soul you're allowing to transcend, be careful. It's your life force you're allowing someone to be in touch with, be wise.



Maybe it's because we live in a fast paced world, we rush toward the finish line of sex.The orgasm. It's like opening a text message from a lover instead of waiting for a love letter like our grandparents did. Lest we forget. Sex is a journey. I'm a scorpio, yes, I'm true to my sign. I'm sexual, but I don't have a high body count. It's quite low. Very Low. But I'm no virgin. I don't have sex all the time. See.....I control sex. I rule it. Do I sound nuts to you? Probably. Do I give a damn? No. I think of myself as a huntress. Am I hunting men? No. That's pointless. I'm hunting my enlightenment my transcendence. If become enlightened and I transcend by knowing myself. To know myself I must find myself. In that process.....if the person I'm supposed to transcend with finds me, he will.



I will not however, settle for anyone that doesn't understand that I will find my life through the death of my ego. I'll find enlightenment by being confused and asking questions. My spirituality will be discovered through the secular. My sensuality will be honed only when I understand my spiritual self. It's all connected. Life and death, chaste and sexual, spiritual and sensual. All of it rises and ebbs with the energy of the universe.